A Transgenic Carol
by Ani-maniac494
Summary: Everything changes when Alec is visited by three...unusual spirits on Christmas Eve.


Time frame: This fic bends canon a bit, so even though this takes place after "Hello, Goodbye," Max never said that she and Alec were together, and Max and Logan are still seeing each other. Also, White never tracked Logan down in "She Ain't Heavy," so he still has the penthouse. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel, and I promise that I'll return the characters in mint condition when I'm done. Can't say that I won't clone Alec, though… ;) Just incase anyone is wondering, I don't own "A Christmas Carol," either, I'm just borrowing some of the same concepts. :)

A/N: This fic is based on CandyCentric's wonderful "A Transgenic Carol," challenge. It took on a life of its own, and as my fics tend to do, it turned out much longer than I expected, lol.

I hope you enjoy it, and of course, please let me know what you think. :)

* * *

**A Transgenic Carol**

It was Christmas Eve, and Max was smiling.

_Smiling. _She never did that. Ever. Well, at least, not around him, Alec amended darkly. But today, it seemed like nothing could ruin her good mood. Even Normal's continuous "Bip, bip, bips," didn't seem to bother her.

Ordinarily, that would be a reason for Alec to celebrate. After all, how many days did he get to leave work without at least one bruise from Max using him as her personal punching bag?

But, unfortunately, this was not an ordinary day, and Max's constant smile only served to irritate Alec more. Or, more specifically, it was the _cause_ of her smile that had Alec ready to rip the limbs off the next person who wished him a "Merry Christmas."

Logan.

Apparently, Logan had realized that he and Max hadn't spent much time together lately, so he had a special Christmas dinner planned for them. Max had been looking forward to it all week. What was so great about pasta and pre-pulse wine, Alec would never know.

_You just wish she was spending Christmas with you,_ a treacherous voice in the back of his mind whispered.

Alec scoffed mentally. _Like that would ever happen._

Max barely tolerated him at the best of times. It didn't matter how hard he tried to prove himself to her, she only saw his faults. He could try for as long as he lived - which, considering the number of people who wanted him dead, admittedly might not be that long - to make up for what he had done, but in her eyes, he would always be a screw-up, the guy who ruined her life, and nothing more.

The sound of laughter drew him from his depressing reverie, and Alec turned to see Max and Original Cindy walking by, Max rolling her eyes good-naturedly at something OC had just said.

_And here comes Miss Sunshine herself_.

"Hey," Max greeted, moving to lean against the locker next to his.

"Hey," Alec acknowledged flatly.

Max, of course, didn't seem to notice, and just continued watching him.

Alec sighed. "Is there something you want, Max?" he asked pointedly.

She shrugged. "I was just wondering if you have any plans."

He raised an eyebrow at that. "Why would you care?"

He saw a startled flicker of hurt in her eyes at his question, but he quickly squashed the threatening feelings of guilt. After all, she never thought twice about hurting _him_.

"I was just curious," Max answered defensively.

"Well, don't be," he said simply. "It's none of your business."

He turned his back to her and resumed packing his bag.

Out of the corner of his eye, Alec saw another brief glimpse of hurt play across Max's features before it was replaced by a cold glare.

"You're right," she said a moment later, "why _would_ I care?"

With that, she turned and stalked back to her own locker, her posture now tense and angry rather than relaxed and cheerful like it had been before.

Alec watched her go and berated himself for ruining her good mood…then, berated himself again for caring.

Max just had that effect on people. She made them care, whether they wanted to or not.

Alec sighed, running a hand over his face wearily.

_She deserves some happiness, _he thought. _Maybe she is better off with Logan…without me._

Ignoring the stab of pain those thoughts caused, Alec shut his locker, and turned to go.

He had a date waiting for him when he got home…a date with an empty apartment, and a bottle of Scotch.

* * *

TV was usually a welcome escape from the world. After all, transgenics couldn't get drunk - Alec had tested that theory a number of times - so TV was the next best thing. But tonight, it seemed like someone, somewhere, must hate him, because practically every channel was running Christmas programming.

Considering the day, maybe he should have expected that, but it certainly didn't make him feel any better.

He wasn't even sure why Christmas bothered him so much. (He refused to acknowledge the voice in the back of his mind that once again insisted it had to do with a certain dark-haired transgenic female and her untouchable "boyfriend.") He just knew that all this supposed "Christmas cheer" was making him sick.

Maybe it was the fact that he'd grown up at Manticore. After all, they hadn't exactly been big on celebrating the holidays. What would they have done? Decorated the perimeter fence and hung wreaths on the gun turrets?

Alec rolled his eyes at that thought, and took another swig from his now half-empty bottle of Scotch.

He flipped through the channels absentmindedly, though he was careful to avoid any cartoons. He'd tried to watch _The Charlie Brown Christmas Special_ earlier, but had quickly changed the channel when one of the characters started playing the piano. The cheerful melody had inevitably brought to mind another piano, and Rachel, smiling mischievously as she'd played the same song_…_

Alec closed his eyes and deliberately pushed the picture away.

A few minutes later, he stopped on a very old version of something called _"A Christmas Carol." _It wasn't what he'd normally pick, but tonight, he could appreciate the main character's attitude.

He watched the movie through, scoffed at Scrooge's change of heart, wholly unimpressed, and finally decided he'd had more than enough Christmas cheer for one night. Turning off the television, he forced himself to his feet. He grabbed a quick shower, changed into clothes that could vaguely pass for sleep-wear, and crawled into bed.

With the night he'd been having up to that point, he really wasn't surprised when a rush of wind blew through the apartment and a muffled thump sounded outside his bedroom door.

Just his luck. Some idiot was probably trying to rob the place. _Yeah, right. Merry Christmas_, Alec thought sarcastically. Well, whoever it was, they'd picked the wrong guy to mess with.

Slipping soundlessly from the bed, Alec pulled his Glock from its resting place on the dresser, and crept to the door, opening it just enough to give him a view of the living room. It was dark, but it might as well have been broad daylight to Alec's eyes, something he knew would give him a big advantage over whoever'd had the brilliant idea of breaking in to his apartment.

His gaze swept the space, coming to rest on the large figure that stood by his television. Moving forward silently, Alec brought up his gun, ready to order the intruder to freeze.

Suddenly, the figure spun, and Alec found himself looking at startled, canine-like features.

"Josh?" Alec exclaimed in surprise.

Joshua's eyes grew larger as he looked at the gun in Alec's hands. "Don't shoot!" he pleaded, waving his arms in a haphazard gesture of peace.

Alec lowered his gun, clicked the safety back into place, and tucked it into the waistband of his pants. "Josh, what are you doing here? You know you're supposed to lay low-"

"No," the dog-man interrupted, straightening. "Not Joshua. Christmas Past."

Alec blinked at that, realizing for the first time that Joshua was dressed in a long, light-blue robe of some sort. Huh. Maybe insanity _was_ genetic.

"Right," Alec agreed slowly. "Well, Christmas Past, it's late, and you can crash here if you want, but I'm going back to bed."

He had started to head back to his room when Joshua's voice stopped him.

"No, Alec have to come with me."

Alec frowned. "Go with you? Where?"

"To see the past," Joshua said knowingly.

"Uh-huh," Alec responded, wondering if something had been wrong with the ham hocks he'd given Joshua a while ago, and Big Fella was suffering from some bizarre case of food poisoning. He could just imagine what Max would have to say about _that. _

"Fun as that sounds, I think I'll pass."

He turned to go once more, but Joshua's large hand caught his shoulder.

"Alec must come with Christmas Past. Lots to see. Lots to learn."

Alec sighed in exasperation. "Look, Josh, I'm not-"

Before Alec knew what was happening, the world shifted around them, the air shimmering, colors blurring together like a low-budget special-effect.

When his surroundings righted themselves again, he was standing in a different living room, the walls covered in peeling blue paint, the floor lined with ratty beige carpeting. A Christmas tree that seemed to be on its last legs - well roots, anyway - stood in the corner, a few hastily made ornaments sparsely decorating the branches.

"Oh-kay…" Alec muttered, looking around in confusion. "Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."

Joshua just smiled.

"Alright, everyone, why don't we see what Santa brought?" a weary voice called.

Alec turned to see a frazzled-looking woman enter the room, a large group of kids following behind her.

Alec frowned again. "Um…correct me if I'm wrong, Josh, but if you are 'The Spirit Of Christmas Past,' or whatever, aren't you supposed to show me _my_ past?"

Joshua shook his head. "Your past not important right now."

Alec's frown deepened at that. "Well, you sure know how to make a guy feel special," he commented dryly. "Whose past _is_ important, then?"

The dog-man nodded his head in the direction of the group.

Alec followed his gaze, this time looking at the kids more carefully. They were all young, the oldest among them probably eleven or twelve at most. They all seemed a little thin, like they hadn't quite been getting enough to eat, and most of them moved with a sort of wariness, as though they were used to fending for themselves.

One girl in particular held Alec's attention. She had short, unkempt brown hair that seemed suspiciously like it was growing out from a buzz-cut, and dark eyes that watched the world with a guarded curiosity that seemed a little out of place for a kid.

_Max_.

Alec turned to see Josh nodding, as though he had somehow read his mind. "Her first Christmas," the dog-man explained. "Group home."

Alec looked back to the kids, his eyes automatically drawn to Max again. She stood with the others, but slightly behind them, seeming unsure what was expected of her.

The woman led the group over to the tree, slipped out of the room for a moment, then returned with a large bag in hand. She opened it to reveal a pile of hastily wrapped presents, and began handing them out, checking the tag to see whether the gift was meant for a boy or a girl.

The look on Max's face when the woman handed her a present was so filled with wonder that Alec found himself smiling along with her as she slowly untied the ribbon, and carefully unfolded the wrapping paper.

It was a small, black, velvet covered box. She looked at it curiously for a moment, then pried the lid up. Inside was a necklace, an angel charm hanging from the chain. Max's eyes grew wide as she gently took it from the box. It wasn't very large, and seemed more like poorly made costume jewelry than anything else, but Alec knew it was the first time Max had ever seen anything like it. She ran her hands over it almost reverently and smiled.

Max had such a beautiful smile…he wished he could make her smile like that all the time. She _had_ been smiling earlier, he thought guiltily, until he had snapped at her.

Alec sighed, wishing he could take back what he'd said. He'd just been so frustrated because no matter what he did, she still seemed to think of him as the scourge of the earth, and never treated him any better than that. But, she'd been trying, he realized. And he'd shot her down for it.

Again, Joshua seemed to sense his thoughts. "Little Fella doesn't always know how to say what she feels," he offered gently. "Medium Fella just like her."

Alec managed a wry smirk at that. "Somehow, I don't think Max would agree with you."

"Little Fella stubborn, too," the dog-man agreed. "But Medium Fella only lets Max see tricks and treats. Medium Fella never tries to make her see _Alec_."

Alec's brow furrowed in confusion.

He was just about to ask what the dog-man meant, when suddenly a loud sob came from behind him. Worried, Alec turned around to see what was going on.

A little girl, who seemed to be one of the youngest in the group, had large tears running down her cheeks as the woman in charge hastily tried to comfort her.

"Sweetie, I'm so sorry," the woman was saying, "I don't know why there isn't another present in here. Santa didn't forget you. Maybe one of his elves just miscounted…"

Her words didn't seem to help, and in fact, the little girl only cried harder. The woman stood by awkwardly, obviously trying to figure out what to do, looking down helplessly at the empty bag on the floor.

That was when Alec saw movement out of the corner of his eye.

Max was slowly making her way forward to the little girl, biting her lip uncertainly. She held the angel necklace in her hand, the chain wrapped loosely around her fingers.

"Here," she said quietly, holding out the gift when she reached the girl.

The little girl's tears slowed as she looked at the offering.

"Max, that's yours. Are you sure?" the woman asked, realizing what Max was doing.

Max shrugged and looked away. "My family didn't celebrate Christmas, anyway."

She had tried to make the statement sound casual, but Alec could see that the gift had meant much more to her than she wanted to let on.

"That's very nice of you," the woman said gently, as the little girl slowly took the necklace.

Max just shrugged again, and shuffled back to where she had been standing.

Her disappointed expression made Alec wish he could do something to comfort her, but if this was anything like the movie he'd seen, he had a feeling the whole, "we-can-see-them-they-can't-see-us" Christmas Past thing would interfere with that. Still, he was about to go after her when Joshua laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Time to go," he said quietly.

Before Alec could object, the foster home faded away, and once more, Alec found himself standing in his dark apartment. He blinked to make sure he wasn't seeing things, which, he realized belatedly, might have been pretty pointless considering what had just happened.

What was going on? Had Manticore been wrong, and he was loosing his mind just like Ben? Had Christmas finally pushed him over the edge?

A soft chuckle drew his attention and Alec looked up to see Joshua watching him with amusement.

"Alec asks so many questions," he smiled, "just not the right one."

Alec frowned. "What do you m-"

Before he could finish, the air shimmered briefly, and the dog-man faded from view.

"Never mind," Alec muttered.

Deciding it was probably best not to question things too much, Alec shrugged and headed back to his room. Somehow though, he had a feeling Josh wasn't the only visitor he'd be getting tonight.

* * *

A few hours later when nothing else had happened, Alec had almost begun to wonder if he'd been wrong, but as soon as the thought had crossed his mind, another breeze blew through the apartment.

Alec didn't bother with the gun this time. He just walked to his door and opened it, then froze at the sight that greeted him. He'd thought he'd known what to expect, but the transhuman lizard-man dressed in a plush, red fur coat, with a crown of holly on his head, certainly wasn't it.

"Mole?" Alec asked in disbelief. He shook his head incredulously. "Let me guess…Christmas Present?"

"What can I say," the lizard man shrugged, "I'm all cheer."

The statement was accented by a puff of smoke from his cigar.

"Well, you do already have the whole 'green' thing goin' on," Alec couldn't resist pointing out. "Fits the season."

Mole glared at him. "Watch it, pretty boy, or I'll have Christmas Past make you relive Logan's Christmas memories, too."

Alec's eyes grew wide with horror. "You wouldn't."

"Try me."

Alec studied him, wondering if the transhuman would actually make good on his threat…then decided that, yes, he would.

Mole grinned smugly around his cigar, knowing he'd won for the moment. "So," he asked, "you gonna come with me, or should I get Josh to take you on another trip down memory lane?"

Alec sighed. "Fine, I'll go with you," he agreed. "But where are we-"

Immediately, the world shifted around them, and the walls of Alec's apartment transformed into the kitchen of Logan's penthouse.

"None of you are big on letting me finish a sentence, are you?" Alec muttered.

Mole shrugged again, shoving his hands into the pockets of his red coat as he leaned casually against the wall. "Only have one night, ya know."

Now it was Alec's turn to glare. "Funny," he grumbled.

Moving away from the transhuman-turned-Christmas-Spirit, Alec let his gaze wander around the penthouse. Garlands lined the windows, and wreaths had replaced some of the usual paintings on the walls. A large tree stood in one corner, decorated with expensive ornaments.

It wasn't hard to guess why Mole had taken him here. If Josh had shown him Max's past, then obviously, this would be Max's present, which meant Logan's Christmas dinner.

Alec stifled a sigh as he looked over to the dinning room where, as he'd expected, Max and Logan sat. The table was just as decorated as the rest of the place, covered in a red and green table cloth, with poinsettias and a few candles serving as a centerpiece. Logan had obviously put a lot of thought into the night.

Alec knew the guy genuinely cared about Max, and he really wasn't _quite _as bad as Alec sometimes made him out to be. Logan did his best to help people, even though he didn't have to, and Alec could, at times, admit a small amount of grudging respect for the underground cyber-journalist - though he would never say that out loud, incidents with Manticore-made telecoercionists aside.

What mattered was that Logan made Max happy…something that, it seemed, Alec couldn't do for her. The ache in Alec's chest returned, but standing here, watching Max and Logan together, he couldn't force it away. Instead it grew stronger, turning into longing and another emotion Alec recognized, but didn't dare name. It would hurt to much to do that, especially now.

He sensed, rather than saw, Mole move next to him. "'If I loved someone, I'd tell her.' Ain't that what you said, pretty boy?"

Alec stiffened. "That's different."

"How?"

Alec sighed again, and even he could hear the weary edge in his voice when he spoke. "Because she doesn't love _me_, she loves _him_. Me…she barely tolerates my existence."

"You sure about that?"

Alec looked up sharply. "What?"

"Are you sure she's in love with him?"

Alec was about to roll his eyes, and blurt out, "Of course she is!" but something wouldn't let him answer so quickly.

_Was _Max really in love with Logan?

Alec let his gaze move back to the table, his eyes unconsciously drawn to Max. She had dressed up for the occasion, wearing a burgundy blouse, black dress slacks, and high heels, rather than her usual leather, denim, and biker boots. She always looked amazing, but tonight, with the candlelight casting a soft glow on her skin, accenting the highlights in her hair, she took Alec's breath away.

But, he realized slowly, something was missing.

He had always thought that Max's eyes had a fire all their own. That fire flared when she was passionate about something, when she laughed, or when she was angry. That last one, Alec could admit, he probably saw more of than anyone else. But all the same, he loved seeing that look in her eyes. It made her seem so alive, so vibrant, so…beautiful.

But instead of that spark, that passion, the only thing Alec saw reflected in Max's eyes now, was the candlelight.

Clichéd as it might have sounded, Alec felt his heart stop.

If that spark was missing when she was with Logan, but in her eyes when she was with him, did that mean…?

Alec shook himself mentally. No, that was impossible. Like he'd said earlier, Max could barely stand him. Besides, Max would never stay with Logan if she wasn't really in love with him…would she?

Before Alec could ask any of those questions aloud, the sound of a phone ringing drew him from his thoughts. His gaze returned to the table just in time to see Logan look at Max apologetically.

"I'll be right back," he told her, giving her a quick smile before pushing out his chair.

Max nodded and smiled in answer, but once Logan reached the other room she allowed the expression to fade from her features. She sighed softly, turning back to her meal, absently pushing the food around on her plate.

She seemed…disappointed.

But, what was she disappointed about? She had been looking forward to this dinner all week, and Logan had gone out of his way to make it special. What would disappoint her?

Unless, Alec realized, tenuous hope beginning to build within him, maybe she could feel what was missing, too.

The sound of footsteps made Max look up once more, the same not-quite-genuine smile coming to her lips again.

Logan paused in the doorway, frowning, like he was trying to find the words to say something he wished he didn't have to.

"What's up?" Max asked, her smile dimming a little as she noticed his expression.

Logan hesitated another a moment before answering. "That was one of my informants."

"What'd they want?"

"He's afraid his bosses know he's been helping Eyes Only, and he needs some paperwork so he can get out of town. I'm really sorry, Max, I wanted it to be just us tonight…but I have to take care of this."

Max nodded, though she couldn't quite manage a smile this time. "Do you need any help?"

Logan shook his head. "I think I've got it covered."

Max nodded again, and an awkward silence descended.

"You're welcome to stay and finish dinner," Logan offered after a moment.

Now it was Max's turn to shake her head. "That's okay. It's late, and I should head home."

"Right," Logan agreed slowly, his tone a little subdued.

Max stood to grab her jacket from a nearby chair, then paused, looking back at Logan where he stood a few feet away. The virus kept them from moving any closer, but somehow, at that moment, the distance seemed to be more than just physical.

"Thanks for tonight," Max said finally.

Logan nodded. "Merry Christmas, Max," he said quietly.

"You too."

Alec watched as Max walked slowly to the door, disappointment, and perhaps even sadness, evident in every step. But as hard as it was to see Max like that, Alec couldn't stop the feeling of elation now rising within him.

Max wasn't in love with Logan.

The realist in Alec tried to remind him that thinking that way would only mean he'd be hurt later, but its voice was pushed back by a much louder, much more overwhelming thought: he had a chance.

Alec was still staring in the direction Max had gone when the air shimmered around him, and the walls of Logan's penthouse turned back into the walls of his apartment.

"Never thought I'd live to see the day you were left speechless," he heard Mole quip.

Alec didn't even bother trying to think of a retort.

_He had a chance._

But…what if he was wrong? What if he'd just been imaging things because it was easier than seeing how happy Max really was with Logan?

He had to know for sure.

Turning to face Mole, Alec cleared his throat. "Is there really a chance for Max and me?" he managed.

The transhuman just smiled around his cigar. "Only you can answer that question, pretty boy."

Before Alec could ask Mole what he meant - which didn't surprise him much since that seemed to be a recurring theme with Christmas Spirits - the lizard-man vanished from sight.

* * *

This time, Alec didn't even try to go back to sleep. His emotions were a jumbled mess, and his mind was too filled with possibilities he'd never let himself consider before.

So, instead of laying down, he paced, back and forth, waiting.

By the time another gust of wind finally blew through the apartment, he was surprised to find he hadn't worn a hole through the floor.

He didn't hesitate, just took two, quick strides to the door and opened it.

Alright, now it was official; he'd seen it all.

Standing there, in the middle of his living room, was presumably the Spirit of Christmas Future, dressed in a long, hooded, dark robe, reminiscent of the reaper…if the reaper wore thick, black rimmed glasses, anyway.

"Normal?" Alec asked, bewildered.

He wasn't surprised when Normal didn't answer, just continued to stare at him stoically.

Not one to take quiet well, Alec couldn't resist commenting, "Never would have pegged you as the strong, silent type."

Again, there was no answer.

"Oh-kay…" Alec continued slowly. "Well, what are you waiting for? Do your thing… you know, bip, bip, bip?"

It seemed that Christmas-Spirit-Normal had something in common with, well, _normal_ Normal, as a moment later, Alec's apartment disappeared.

When things finally stopped moving, Alec found himself in what he guessed was a house, a pretty big one from the looks of things. It was obvious that whoever owned it had money. The furniture looked antique, and judging from what little Alec knew about art, the paintings on the walls were the real deal, not imitations.

Alec certainly wasn't one for the art crowd, so that meant…Logan.

Swallowing thickly, Alec tried to force away the thought of what that might mean, and turned to look at the rest of the room.

He stopped when he saw a figure standing by the window.

_Max._

If it were possible, she had gotten even more beautiful with age. Her dark hair now reached past her waist, and her features had softened a little, accenting her high cheekbones and full lips all the more.

She was watching as snow fell outside, blanketing the yard, and lost in her thoughts, she was absently, toying with something on her left hand…

Alec's heart sank.

It was a gold band with a large diamond…a wedding ring.

Max and Logan were married.

_So, _Alec thought hollowly, _somewhere along the line, Max and Logan get the cure, and they can be together…just like they've always wanted._

He wasn't sure which was worse, believing that he'd never had a chance, or getting his hopes up only to learn he'd been right all along.

Max loved Logan, not him…and it would always be that way.

Turning away from the scene in front of him, Alec moved back to where Christmas Future waited.

"Take me back," Alec ordered.

He didn't want to stay here…to see Max with Logan. He couldn't.

The Christmas Spirit didn't react.

"Take me back," Alec insisted again.

That finally got a response, though it wasn't the one Alec wanted. Instead, Christmas Future just shook his head slowly, and raised his arm to point at Max.

Alec sighed in frustration, but finally relented, somehow knowing that he wouldn't be going anywhere until he saw whatever it was the Spirit thought he needed to see. He allowed his gaze to move back to the window where Max stood, trying once more to ignore the feelings she stirred inside of him.

It didn't work.

Thankfully, though, that train of thought was interrupted by the sound of footsteps.

Alec turned, not all that surprised to see Logan walking through the doorway. The cyber-journalist was dressed in a tux, knotting his bow-tie with a practiced hand, and hastily straightening his jacket.

Max had obviously heard his approach, too, and moved closer, smiling the gentle smile she seemed to save just for Logan. But somehow, her expression seemed hollow…even more hollow than it had before.

Logan just smiled warmly in return. "You haven't been to a dinner in quite a while. Are you sure you don't want to come?" he asked, tugging at his tie one last time.

"Yeah," Max shrugged. "Formal business dinners aren't really my thing."

"Alright, but…" Logan paused, seeming to sense that there was more to her answer than she wanted to let on. "I'll make it up to you," he promised finally. "There's a concert next week. We could go out afterwards."

He looked at Max hopefully, and she nodded. "Sounds great."

Logan leaned over to give her a gentle kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you later tonight."

Max smiled again, that same empty smile, and watched him go, his footsteps echoing in the obviously large, empty house.

When he was gone, the expression dropped quickly from her features, and she moved back to the window, once more watching the snow fall outside. She rested her forehead on the cool glass, and sighed resignedly, the soft sound saying more than words ever could.

Alec felt his chest tighten.

Where was the Max he had fallen in love with? The Max who was all passion and sass…the Max who had kicked him across the cell when they'd first met?

This Max was a stranger with dark, sad eyes, that had lost all their fire.

What had happened to her?

Alec didn't think Logan treated her badly. He loved her…that much had been obvious from the way he had looked at her. But maybe, for Max, that wasn't enough.

Alec wasn't sure if he could do any better…but he knew one thing: he wanted to try.

* * *

Alec's eyes snapped open, his heart pounding furiously in his chest, his mind racing. He sat up abruptly, instinctively taking in his surroundings, but calming a little when he recognized the familiar walls of his bedroom.

He closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath, focusing on slowing his pulse. When his heart's staccato rhythm settled into a more normal rate, Alec opened his eyes, and ran an uneasy hand through his hair.

A dream, he thought…it had all been a dream.

After all, how could a chance with Max ever be anything else?

Alec sighed wearily, the now familiar ache forming in his chest once more.

_Just a dream,_ he reminded himself again. _It doesn't change anything._

But…what if, somehow…it _had_ been real?

It sounded crazy, but then, his life was practically a sci-fi movie anyway, so it wasn't really that much of a stretch…was it?

_No_. _Max loves Logan, not you,_ Alec denied after a moment, trying once more to force down that small bit of hope. _It's impossible._

But, for some reason, that thought didn't carry with it the same conviction it had before.

An image of Max standing by the window surfaced in his mind, her dark eyes piercing him.

That's when he knew. If there was even the smallest truth in what he'd seen, if that was really Max's future…he couldn't stand by and do nothing.

He had to tell her how he felt.

* * *

It had taken him all day, three jewelry stores, four pawn shops, and two of his…less-reputable contacts, to find what he'd been looking for, but finally, he had it. It wasn't a perfect match - the chain was real gold, and the angel held a small diamond in its hands - but aside from that, it could have been the same necklace Max had given up all those years ago.

Alec had managed to find some ribbon to decorate the velvet box with. Gift Wrapping 101 hadn't exactly been a part of Manticore's curriculum, and the bow was a little lopsided, but Alec thought it looked pretty good, all things considered.

He'd made a few other stops after that, picking up some more ham hocks for Joshua, some Cuban cigars for Mole, and a new clipboard for Normal. Alec knew they'd had absolutely nothing to do with his dream, but he figured they deserved it anyway. However, with the easy part of his plan accomplished, he'd had no reason to keep putting off the _hard_ part.

Alec stood nervously outside Max's apartment, his heart hammering in his chest.

Deciding to tell the woman you loved how you felt was one thing, finding a way to actually say those words was something else entirely.

Fortunately or unfortunately - Alec wasn't sure which - Max saved him the trouble of a very awkward entrance when she opened the door.

"Alec?" Max frowned. "What are you doing here?"

Well, it wasn't exactly a warm welcome, but she hadn't told him to get lost, so Alec took that as a good sign.

"Hey, Max. Can I come in?"

Max's frown deepened at his question, and Alec wondered if he hadn't sounded as casual as he'd hoped. But, finally she shrugged, and moved back to let him past.

She didn't say anything else, just watched him, waiting.

Max wasn't exactly the most affectionate person when he was around, but her distance now told him that she was still hurt by what he'd said yesterday, at Jam Pony. Alec figured that was probably the best place to start.

He cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably. "Listen…about yesterday, I didn't mean to…" He paused trying to find someway to say what he felt, but that didn't seem possible. "Anyway…I'm sorry."

Not the most eloquent words he had ever spoken, but he meant them.

Max studied him for a long moment, as if weighing what he'd said.

"Do you want some coffee?" she offered finally.

Alec felt some of the tension melt away and nodded gratefully, recognizing the offer as Max's way of telling him she'd accepted his apology.

"Sure."

Alec followed Max into the kitchen, overcome by a sense of déjà vu as he watched her take two mugs from the cabinet. It was so much like the night she'd told him about Ben. That had been the first time she'd ever let him comfort her, and looking back, Alec knew that was the moment he'd fallen in love with her.

Now, if only he could figure out how to tell _her_ that…

"Where's OC?"

Okay, so small-talk wasn't really what he'd had in mind, but it was a start.

Max shrugged. "Christmas party at Crash."

"Oh."

Alec waited while Max poured some water into the coffee pot, and sighed mentally. He'd convinced guards not to report him when he bent the rules, fooled Manticore into believing he was still an obedient soldier, and talked White out of killing him, but Max had a power over him that no one, not even Rachel, had ever had before, and that made this ten times harder.

"So…um…how was your dinner with Logan?" he ventured finally.

Max looked up in surprise, a myriad of emotions flitting over her features before she locked them away. She shrugged again, reaching for the coffee-grounds. "It was fine," she answered simply.

Her tone made it pretty clear that she wouldn't welcome any other questions about it, but something told Alec that if he didn't do this now, he would lose all his nerve. And, the hollow look he could see in her eyes was just a little too close to how she'd looked in his dream.

He cleared his throat. "Max, can I ask you something?"

Max shrugged again, and Alec swallowed thickly. "Does he make you happy?"

Max blinked. "What?"

"Does Logan make you happy?" he repeated.

Max stopped in the middle of reaching to light the burner of the stove, a hundred possible answers reflected in her eyes. But with a speed the surprised Alec, her expression turned into one of anger, and she slammed the lighter down on the counter, the coffee suddenly forgotten.

"Do you always have to stick your nose where it doesn't belong, or you do you just enjoy laughing at other people's pain that much?" she snapped.

Alec flinched in surprise, not sure what he'd done to warrant that, confused by her reaction. Did she really think that little of him? She thought he _enjoyed_ seeing her miserable? He tried to ignore the sting of her words, and forced down the retort on his lips. He hadn't come here to argue, he reminded himself.

_She's just upset. Logan cut their night short_, _and like always, she's taking it out on you._

"Max-"

"Everything is always a joke to you," she spat, her eyes flashing dangerously.

Even as they did, a part of Alec thought that, at the very least, that hollow look was gone. Only, this wasn't how he'd hoped their conversation would go.

"Max-" he tried again.

"You never take anything seriously," she continued heatedly.

Alec's jaw clenched in irritation, his emotions boiling dangerously close to the surface. "I was being serious!"

"Right," she sneered, sarcasm practically dripping off the word. "Like you're even capable of that."

Normally, Alec would have just been able to brush her comments aside, but for some reason he couldn't do that now. The unexpected attack had cut through all his defenses, and Alec bristled, feeling his own temper flare. "Just because you've forgotten how to do anything else but mope about your 'not-like-that' boyfriend, doesn't mean everyone else has to!"

He knew it was a low blow, but at that a moment, he was just tired of her ridicule, and wanted to hurt her like she was hurting him. The mask of anger slipped from Max's features revealing a brief glimpse of vulnerability beneath, but just as quickly, her expression hardened once more. "I've told you before, Logan is none of your business!"

"Oh, of course, how dare I question the great Eyes Only!" Alec retorted sarcastically.

"Logan's a good man! He helps people!"

Alec could think of a hundred comebacks for that, but he managed hold his tongue.

When exactly had things gotten so out of control?

"This isn't about Logan," he said finally, gritting his teeth. "This is about you!"

Max rolled her eyes, and scoffed, clearly disbelieving. "Sure, Alec, you're _so_ concerned about my well-being!"

"I just want you to be happy!"

"Why would _you_ care?"

"Because I'm in love with you!"

They both froze at his admission.

The words hung in the air, unanswered, and it actually took a moment for Alec to realize what he'd just said.

Max was staring at him with wide eyes, whatever retort she'd had in mind clearly forgotten.

"W-What?" she asked finally, her voice small.

This certainly wasn't how he'd been planning to tell her, but the cat was already out of the bag, so to speak, and he wasn't going to back down. "I'm in love with you," he repeated quietly. "I have been for a long time."

Alec waited, holding his breath, his heart pounding so loudly that it nearly drowned out everything else. Max, though, didn't speak, just continued to look at him in shock, seemingly unable to move.

Dread started to build within him as the moments passed, and still, she hadn't said a word.

_What did you expect?_ he thought wearily._ You'd tell her how you felt, and suddenly she'd profess her undying love for you, too?_

His heart heavy, Alec reached into his pocket, and pulled out the small box that held the angel necklace, setting it on the counter.

"Merry Christmas, Max," he said softly.

Swallowing hard at the lump forming in his throat, Alec moved for the door. He didn't want to leave this way, but he was afraid that "goodnight" would feel too much like "goodbye."

He heard a soft footfall behind him, and paused, turning just long enough to see Max walk slowly forward to pick up the gift. She untied the ribbon and opened the lid, her dark eyes glittering as she carefully took out the pendant.

"How did you know…?" she whispered.

But, he was already gone.

* * *

Alec lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. He knew that trying to sleep would be useless. His mind and heart just wouldn't let him. Too many emotions were flooding him, regret probably the strongest.

He had been wrong.

He never should have said anything to her.

At least before tonight, he'd had her friendship…if it could have really been called it that. Now, though…he had no idea what they had.

He sighed resignedly.

It didn't matter anyway. She would probably never talk to him again, and if she did, things would be too awkward.

Maybe he should just leave Seattle. After all, that was what Max had been telling him to do since the beginning.

Maybe then, she could be happy…without him.

The ache in Alec's chest throbbed sharply, and he closed his eyes wishing that he could sleep, just so he wouldn't have to think.

He was trying to figure out how much he would have to drink to find blissful unconsciousness, when a muffled thump sounded outside his bedroom door.

"Oh, not this again," Alec muttered in disgust.

Apparently he didn't have to worry about falling asleep, he was already dreaming. Only, this wasn't the peaceful nothingness he'd been hoping for. What had his mind come up with this time? White as Santa Clause? Renfro as an elf?

_No, thanks_, Alec thought.

Pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes, Alec willed himself to wake up.

Nothing happened.

He tried again, but this time, the distinct sound of footsteps came from his living room.

Alright, so maybe this wasn't a dream.

Confused, Alec pushed himself from the bed and walked to the door, opening it to find-

"Max?"

Max froze at the sound of his voice. Had this been a normal situation, he might have made some quip about her "deer in headlights" impression. But, at the moment, he was too busy trying to wrap his mind around the fact that, Max, the woman he thought would never want to see him again, was now standing in his apartment.

"Max, why are you-"

"Did you mean it?" she blurted suddenly.

Alec blinked, desperately willing his thoughts into some semblance of order. "What?"

"What you said," Max explained, "about…being in love with me?"

_Oh, that. _

Alec swallowed hard. "Every word."

"It wasn't just a 'cheap ploy'?"

He shook his head. "No."

Max looked down, wrapping her arms around her middle, seeming more self-conscious than Alec had ever seen her.

He was about to tell her that he knew she didn't feel the same way, that she wouldn't have to worry because he was going to leave, when she finally spoke. "I broke up with Logan."

"I… You what?" he stammered.

Alec felt like the world had just been turned upside-down. He would have been less shocked if Mole had suddenly announced that he was taking up ballet.

This couldn't be real.

It _had_ to be a dream.

Alec closed his eyes for moment, once more trying to will himself awake. But the scene in front of him remained the same.

"Why?" he asked at last, still not sure that he could trust anything he was seeing.

Max glanced down, trying to find the right words to tell him what she felt.

"Tonight, at dinner," she began, "we just didn't… It was nice, but there wasn't…" She sighed, frustrated, but continued softly, "I still care about him. He's my friend. I just…I guess…I don't think he can ever be more than that. But, before tonight, I don't know…I thought…maybe, that would be enough."

Alec swallowed hard again. "But you don't think it will be now?"

Max shook her head. "It's not fair to either of us if we keep pretending we see something that isn't there. If we do, then we would miss out if someone did come along who, maybe, we really _could_ have that with…"

She looked up at him nervously, as though trying to gauge his reaction, but Alec didn't answer.

He couldn't.

"Right," Max said quickly, taking his silence to mean that she'd already lost her chance, "I just thought I should tell you…anyway, um…I should go…"

She turned to leave, and Joshua's words echoed in Alec's mind: _Medium Fella only lets Max see tricks and treats. Medium Fella never tries to make her see Alec._

Still unable to force any coherent sounds past his throat, Alec did the only thing he could think of: he caught her arm, pulled Max back towards him, and captured her lips with his own.

There were no masks between them, no deceptions.

In that moment, it was just Alec and Max.

Everything else fell away.

The kiss was unlike anything Alec had ever felt before, even with Rachel… He had loved her, but it had been a tentative, fragile thing. This was passion and fire and love all mixed together. Max, his best friend…his rival…his equal.

It was like an empty space he hadn't known existed, had suddenly been filled, and now he hoped for a future, wanted a future, as long as Max was in it.

Alec wasn't sure whether his heart was going to leap out of his chest, or if it had stopped altogether.

When they finally drew apart, Alec looked down into Max's eyes, and the sparkle in them told him everything he needed to know.

Alec smiled. "Hey, Max?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing for New Year's?"

**Fin**

* * *

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a review and let me know what you think!

Merry Christmas, everyone! Jesus is born!

Ani-maniac494 :)


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